Wednesday, February 17, 2016

How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man

I can hardly even begin to describe this 1970 masterpiece. Literally I can't, words evade me. This how to manual on catching, keeping, and ditching men must have been quite the scandal when it was published, my eyes were boggling with the advice and witticisms put forth. So rather than try to prattle on and do this book an injustice, let me just let Zsa Zsa tell you with her own words:

"Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper."

"It is said that the right age for a man to get married is when he is twice the woman's age minus 7 years."

"The best way to attract a man immediately is to have a magnificent bosom and a half-size brain and let both of them show... Remember - the only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage."

"I think it is a good thing for a husband and a wife to fight with each other...By fighting I don't think of just arguing with words. As a matter of fact, those are the most dangerous. Hitting each other, and throwing things around isn't so dangerous. A black bruise heals fast. A broken vase can be replaced. But some terribly heartless words can never be changed."

"Is it a good idea that your husband should know that his good friend is also your lover? I would say no."

"So I say if your husband takes care if you in every way and you know he loves you very much, don't pay any attention to his affair. Just overlook it as long as you make sure you know who the other woman is so you can keep an upper-hand on things."

"It is one of the wife's most important jobs to spend her husband's money for him."

"You should by all means try to make your ex-husbands friendly with each other... I think every woman should have at least three husbands."

"... you shouldn't make such a big thing out of faithfulness. As I keep telling you, jumping into bed with somebody is, for most men, nothing more than a gymnastic."

"Your husband's you husband while you are his wife, But your ex is your ex for the rest of your life."

There you have it, an almost 50 year old self help book by the infamous Zsa Zsa Gabor. Read at your own peril, the advice is, shall we say, a little outdated.

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