Black Hole

I feel like I need to take a cold shower after finishing this. It was so dark, despondent and creepy. The illustrations and plot are fantastic though. The 70's were an idyllic time to live if you were a white teenager in suburbia. That is unless you contracted a weird sexually transmitted "bug" that morphed some body deformity. It could be a tail, boils, webbed hands, an extra mouth, shedding skin; it's different for every person. The spread is slow, but it's totally alienating. The shame is all consuming and soon there is nothing to but live in the woods with other afflicted teenagers. There is no hope, no cure, no prevention, and no awareness. This graphic novel is shown through the eyes of several teenagers who have it or will soon contract it. It's dark, weird, and so messed up. It's very nihilistic and unique. I have a lot of thoughts about this book, but I'm not entire sure how to write them out. Read with an open mind and always use a rubber.

My Year of Rest and Relaxation

This book was.... odd? But in a totally readable way. My Year of Rest and Relaxation is exactly what the title promises, a woman in her late twenties decides to medicate herself into hibernation for a year. Her parents are dead, she only has one "friend," she's quit her job, and she just can't stomach going about the drudgery of the every day. She's happiest while sleeping and she's willing to take an insane cocktail of prescribed drugs to chase that feeling of rest and relaxation. Skinny, pretty, and privileged; she knows she has it easy, but she wants a new life and she wants to sleep her way into the next chapter. At first I wondered how on earth an entire book could be written about drug induced quest for sleep; but rest assured, I couldn't put this book down. Literally. I started it at 8 this morning and am already done. Moshfegh is a writer to watch, I loved this even more than I loved her collection of short stories I read last year.

Sing Unburied Sing

I really REALLY wanted to give this a better review! The writing is excellent, there has been so much buzz about it, it won the National Book Award, there are many reasons why I should have liked it, but I can't lie. I wasn't feeling it. The book follows three characters: Jojo, a thirteen year old boy who is mature beyond his years and just wants to be like his grandfather and make sure his younger sister gets taken care, his mother Leonie, a never present parent who spends more time pining after her incarcerated boyfriend and doing drugs, and finally there is Richie, another thirteen year old boy with an unsettling past. Leonie takes her two children on a road trip to see their father released from prison and while there, Jojo encounters Richie, a boy whose story HE KNOWS. Jojo is by far the greatest character in this sad family saga, he is strong, wise, questioning, and more of a parent to his younger sister than his mother, Leonie could ever hope to be. I briefly sympathized with his mom, but it's hard when she constantly chooses herself and her boyfriend over her own children. She is the literal worst. I'm with Jojo, she could die and the world would be a better place. Same goes for his deadbeat dad. The story only spans a few days, but it feels like a lifetime. And, Richie... Richie helps add another layer to the story, it helps deepens the saga. Even though he's not quite a family member, he has something to add. The story was artfully done, but it didn't resonate with me.

The Coldest Winter Ever

Gripping from the get go, The Coldest Winter Ever, tells the story of a spoiled, materialistic young women who cares more about fashion, money, and good dick, then she does anything else. Her father is a big time drug dealer and everyone in her Brooklyn neighborhood respects her family and Winter can't wait to grow up to be a bad bitch like her momma. She rolls tight with her crew of fellow delinquents (school? who gives a crap about that?) and they love shopping and sucking their teeth at all the hot young men around. Things start to shift though when her father moves the family out to Long Island to get away from the scene for a while. Things slowly start to spiral out of her control. Just how far will Winter go to prove that she's the baddest bitch around? The answer is... pretty damn far! She has no qualms about shoplifting, carrying a boxcutter for protection, and sucking dick to get what she wants. She's got hustle and she wants you to know it. Winter is the most unlikable heroine who you still end up rooting for. A stunning book that makes you sit back and think when you get to the end.

Hotel Scarface

Holy hell was this an exciting and interesting book. True Crime doesn't get more "fun" than this. Hotel Scarface traces the origins of the Cocaine Cowboys in South Florida, their quick rise, the blizzard of cocaine users in Miami, and the amazingness of The Mutiny at Sailboat Bay (a hotel, club, and restaurant). The Mutiny was where all the drug lords, smugglers, vixens, celebrities, and dirty cops hung out and my lord, to have been a fly on the wall. The Mutiny was the hub in the early days of cocaine and even the movie, Scarface, models itself off The Mutiny and the eccentric characters that would gather there. The cast of characters in this nonfiction true crime book is extensive and can get a little overwhelming at times, but it is definitely worth getting through because this book is full of bizarre little tid bits and over the top lifestyles that could of course not be kept up forever. Extensively researched, wonderfully written, and compelling as hell, this is a must read!

The Road Through Wonderland

This was definitely an unsettling, upsetting, and heartbreaking memoir. Dawn Schiller had a rough childhood to say the least. With a deadbeat dad, and lots of crime and drugs she had to grow up very quickly. When she finds herself in California at 15 she meets the enigmatic Porn King, John Holmes (aka Johnny Wadd). He quickly seduces her even though he is already in his mid thirties and she isn't even close to legal. Their relationship quickly escalates and he moves her in to his wife's house to live with them. Things start to spiral out of control quickly though when they start heavily using crack. Not content to just snort it they start freebasing it as well. John's porn career is over and he finds himself heavily in debt as his drug usage mounts. He starts beating Dawn and forces her into prostitution to get more money for drugs. Things take a dark turn when Dawn realizes that he has somehow been involved in a murder in Wonderland. All the reader wants is for Dawn to leave John. He is LITERALLY THE WORST! But that is abuse for you, not only is it physical but mental too. Dark and unreal, the movie version stars Val Kilmer and Kate Bosworth.

Every Man a Menace

I've read lots of books about drugs, but this was the first that really went in depth and focused on the operation as a whole. Hoffman provides fascinating insight, back stories, insider knowledge, and twists and turns to make this a fascinating and dark read. 5 separate, yet related, short stories intertwine to put together the puzzle of a complex ecstasy smuggling operation that spans continents. Flawlessly executed and plotted this is a must read for crime fiction readers. This would also make an excellent movie adaptation.

Marlena

Wonderfully haunting, and engaging; Marlena will appeal to both readers of young adult and literary fiction. Alternating between Cat's year in a new town, befriending the neighbor girl Marlena, and present day in New York City where she's struggling to maintain her married, working life without spiraling back into alcoholism, this book is exquisitely and beautifully rendered. Even though Cat finds herself being reckless and hero worshiping everything Marlena does from trying drugs to smoking to drinking and cutting class. Pulled from her fancy prep school and stuck in a small town with her older brother and newly divorced mother, Cat decides that it doesn't matter what she does so she wholly commits herself to Marlena and her scheming. Full of drugs, boys, school woes, teen angst, and true friendship, this book was appealing and haunting as you root for Cat and Marlena to grow up and leave that life behind. A wonderful book.

Crack Money with Cocaine Dreams

I've been on an urban fiction/ street lit kick and while this fit the bill, it was poorly written so I couldn't quite lose myself in it. There wasn't much character development but at least the plot was decent. I think my biggest beef was that I couldn't quite connect with any of the characters. The story mainly focuses on the virginal coke queen of Staten Island. Messiah is 18 and comes from a very rich family. She could do nothing the rest of her life and be covered but she wants to put her brains to the test and make better weed (for her father's drug empire) and better coke (for hers). She's seeing a deadbeat boy but she gets the feeling that he's just hanging around her for the money and lifestyle. When she runs into Rasheed, a drug mogul and family man taking care of his niece and nephew, she discovers what it can be like being with a real man. There are some other players in the story but it mainly focuses on those two. It ends on a major cliffhanger but I don't know if I have it in me to finish out the series. Filled with drugs, hustling, designer clothes, and drama this book will appeal to those that like street lit.

Twisted

There's something intriguing about reading sex worker's memoirs. It's dark, fascinating, and impossible to put down. This novel is a fictionalized account of what it takes to "make a living" working in the post-Soviet Ukrainian sex trade. Julie and her two sisters are desperate to find work, jobs are few and far between. When a friend tells the sisters how much money can be made by working in the "cabaret" (whore house) they decide to try their hand at making some quick money. Julie (the youngest sister and narrator of this story) especially has a hard time avoiding hard drugs and booze because it helps take the edge off of what she is doing. She isn't ashamed of being a call girl, but sometimes she just needs to forget some of the nasty things she does for money (namely an old man named Death). Her sisters try to get her to get clean, but Julie is convinced that there isn't a problem. This story spans about a year and chronicles Julie's descent into greed and addiction. Compelling, dark, and impossible to put down, this quick read will make you feel a little better about your life, or will maybe cause you to rethink your life's decisions.

I received this book for free from the publisher in return for my honest, unbiased review.

Morvern Callar

I don't know how I feel about this or what it was I just read.... This was a difficult read because I'm not Scottish. I don't know Scottish slang or shorthand and had to google phrases every other page (hint: greeting means crying... don't ask me why). The book is written as free flowing thought from the mind of a young twenty something Scottish gal. The book opens up with her finding the body of her boyfriend in her kitchen after he commits suicide. From there the book takes off into a weird spiral. After crying initially she leaves the body for a few days and chain-smokes and drinks her way through town with her best friend. She is the emotionally oddest character I have ever read. Beyond that there is: sex, raves, drugs, drunks, introductions to people with weird names, body disposal, and the horror of working at a shitty supermarket.

If you can handle reading Irvine Walsh (Trainspotting) and Scottish prose then I am sure you will love the book and understand what in the hell is going on. I finished it. It wasn't awful, but I'm still confused. Perhaps the movie adaptation will shed some light on what in the hell is going on. Not for light readers or those easily confused.

The Last Opium Den

I loved this book! This short little essay was phenomenal! Nick Tosches wondered what happened to the opium trade and opium debts so he went off to Asia in search for any remaining traces of it. There was literally none, none to be found in the United States so Nick decided to try his luck elsewhere. His life goal was to try opium, and not just to try it, but smoke it, in an opium den with brocade hangings and buxom women. He soon discovers that he may have dreamed a little too big because opium is mainly used for heroin, and the smokers of old are slowly dying off.

This 74 page book is amazingly informative, funny, and intriguing. I definitely plan on reading more books from Mr. Tosches.

Low Down: Junk, Jazz, and Other Fairy Tales from Childhood

A.J. Albany kills it in this memoir! Instead of being told in the usual narration form the author tells her story through a series of short memories and observations from her youth. Some are in chronological order, some are not, but together they all tell the haunting, enchanting, and wildly inappropriate childhood of young Amy Joe Albany, daughter of legendary Jazz pianist, Joe Albany. Her observations about drugs, sexuality, and music are stunning, startling, and amazingly ahead of her time. A great memoir full of stories that will stick with you. I can't wait to see the movie adaptation.

For fans of memoirs, coming of age stories, and jazz.

Tweak

Wow, this book took my breath away. It was terrifying, inspirational, insane, unbelievable, and heartbreaking. I've never had the urge to do hard drugs and this book firmly cemented my belief that drugs will fuck your shit up. 

I'm an anxious reader as it is and I always get nervous when a character does something I know they shouldn't do or that they'll get in trouble for later (you could say I get waaay too invested in my stories) and this book had me hyperventilating. I was practically yelling at the book, "Don't do it Nic! Don't relapse! That's a horrible idea! What are you thinking??"

This memoir is haunting and heartbreaking but you really have to admire the guts Nic has in sharing his brutal story about addiction. He spiraled out of control multiple times and he leaves nothing out. He was using dirty needles, prostituting himself, stealing from his family, doing every type of drug imaginable and he lays it all out for the reader. It took a lot of failed attempts but he finally got clean, testament to, no matter how bad your life is you can turn it around.

A truly great (but terrifying) book.

Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending America's Greatest Tragedy

This was definitely one of the hardest books I've read this year, not because it was badly written but because the subject matter was very personal and not at all comforting like I hoped it would be. I'm not going to go into details in this book review but those of you who know me, know why I find this subject hard. It's something that I never would have guessed would affect me or anyone I care about, but who am I kidding, this is the 21st century. Addiction is more prevalent then ever.

Prior to this book, I knew the concept behind addiction and thought I had it all figured out. Basically after reading this, I realized I know nothing on this subject. In my head, addicts were selfish people who didn't know when enough was enough and tore their family and friends lives to pieces in their selfish downward spiral. Clearly, I have a very old fashioned way of thinking, I had never once considered addiction a "real" disease.

Author, David Sheff, does a marvelous job of outlining addiction (why we use, the disease, drugs and alcohol in our culture, etc.), and ways to get addicts clean (he describes dozens of different treatments, not everyone can get clean the same way) and stay clean. David has a lot of experience dealing with addiction, his son Nic spent years addicted to hard drugs and later wrote the book, "Tweak." David Sheff outlines the struggles of dealing with addiction as a family in his first book, "Beautiful Boy" ("Clean" is his second novel).

Some interesting facts and tidbits that I took away from this book:

1. Comparing money spent on cancer and AIDS research as compared with addiction research = "the total spent on AIDS is $3 billion - or $3,000 per infected person. We spend $29 per addict." (page 290)

2. "In Vancouver, at a supervised injection site called, Insite, drug users are given not only clean needles but a safe place to shoot up and stay while they're high... A series of studies has shown that Insite is effective at getting addicts into treatment, lowering crime in the neighborhood, and reducing the number of overdoses and illnesses from drug use." (page 302)

3. In Portugal the government decriminalized the possession and use of all drugs - not only marijuana but heroin, cocaine, and the rest. Drugs are still illegal, but users caught with small quantities aren't sent to jail. Instead they face a panel consisting of a psychologist, social worker, and legal adviser who recommend appropriate treatment... A study found that five years after personal possession was decriminalized, illegal drug use among teens had declined, rates of new HIV infections had dropped and the number of people seeking treatment for drug addiction had more than doubled. Prior to the change in policy, Portugal had one of the highest rates of drug use in Europe, afterward, it had one of the lowest." (pages 303-304)

4. "A majority of patients who enter treatment never complete it. Among those who do, 40 to 86 percent relapse in the first year." (page 17)

5. "The stigma associated with drug use - the belief that bad kids use, good kids don't, and those with full blown addiction are weak, degenerate, and pathetic - has contributed to the escalation of use and has hampered treatment more than any single other factor."(page 25)

6. Addiction IS a disease. " A disease is "an interruption, cessation, or disorder of a body, system, or organ structure or function," according to "Stedman's Medical Dictionary. It's "a morbid entity ordinarily characterized by two or more of the following criteria: recognized etiologic agents, identifiable group of signs and symptoms, or consistent anatomic alterations." Addiction fits every one of these criteria." (page 89) Addicts aren't weak, selfish, or amoral - they're ill.

7. "Researchers have found that if a person makes it to two years [being sober], his likelihood of relapse diminishes dramatically, and after five years, most addicts will continue to stay sober." (page 266)

Sorry I got a little wordy on the statistics, but those are only just a handful of what you can discover in this book, I  learned soo much. I learned how complex addiction is and how hard it is to treat. This is an absolute MUST read, a real eye opener, and very present in our society as we reflect on the United States failed drug war.

Behind the Candelabra

This will be filed as one of the most bizarre and impulsive reads I've embarked on this year. I was inspired to read this memoir after reading an article in last week's "Entertainment Weekly" about the upcoming HBO movie on Liberace's life and lover starring Matt Damon and Michael Douglass. I was so intrigued that I went out and got the book, even though I know little to nothing about the legacy of "Mr. Showmanship." This book told me everything I ever wanted (and didn't want) to know about the private and hidden life of one of the world's most notorious and high paid performers.

This memoir was written by Liberace's ex-lover, Scott Thorson, several years after Liberace died of AIDs. In Liberace's lifetime he vigorously denied he was gay, even up until his final moments, Scott Thorson howver, tells a different tale, the real nature of Liberace's life.

Scott was eighteen when he was wooed and seduced by Mr. Showmanship, a man forty years his senior. They had a love/ hate relationship and within five years this poor foster kid was living a more opulent lifestyle then he could ever imagine. Fur coats, priceless jewels, multiple cars, hanging with celebrities. It's every kid's dream. That dream however, turned into a nightmare when Scott underwent plastic surgery to have his face resemble Liberaces (clearly Liberace was a vain man, who makes their lover undergo surgery to look more like themselves?!?!) and as a result became addicted to drugs. The nightmare came to a close when Liberace cheated on him and then kicked him to the curb.

This tell all tale is morbidly fascinating and I can't wait to see the HBO version. Read it, you won't be disappointed!

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip."

That quote pretty much sums up this entire book. From the intro until the very last line this books hooks you with such intensity and ferocity that you can't get away. You have to plow through it and hope your mind is still intact when you stumble through to the end. Read with caution! And for the love of God do not be taking drugs or raving drunk when reading this because you may just lose your mind!

"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" has been on my to read list (and to watch list!) for just about forever so I was more than willing to give it a try this weekend when I went on a roadtrip to Elkhart. The library had an audiobook copy that was only 5 1/2 hours long (perfect!) and was unabridged. I was good to go. The narrator was brilliant and I easily got lost in his voice. The story starts out with Thompson and his attourney getting ready to head to Las Vegas to cover the Mint 400, a motorcycle event. For the trip they make sure to pack enough drugs, booze, and narcotics to kill a herd of elephants. The entire story basically follows them as they lose their minds in the desert and all the crazy shenanigans they get themselves into under the powerful narcotics. It's intense. I've never tried hard drugs and this semi-autobiographical novel cements my decision to never try them.

That being said, Thompson is an amazingly prolific writer and the story flows from one drugged up incident to another with ease. I definitely want to see the movie now, but I think I'll wait on re-reading it. It was pretty damn intense. Great book but definitely not a beach read for the light of heart. Proceed with caution!!!