Monday, March 27, 2017
Space Raptor Butt Trilogy
Space Raptor Butt Invasion
Astronaut, Lance Tanner, finds himself alone on a distant planet due to budget cuts. Unbearably lonely, he first thinks he's hallucinating when he spies another space suit clad figure in the distance. When the figure comes over into the space station and takes off his helmet to reveal a raptor astronaut, Lance is initially worried but the two form a friendship that eventually turns into romance full of hot gay dinosaur sex.
Space Raptor Butt Redemption
Lance and his raptor lover return to Earth and immediately find themselves under scrutiny. A trial is set and Lance is charged with being too "weird" in space and receiving funding from an evil corporation that steals unicorn tears. The reality is, the people of Earth are afraid of interspecies romances. Lance brilliantly defends himself against a corrupt lawyer and when he wins over the crowd and the judge he brings out his raptor lover and they make mad passionate love on the courtroom floor for everyone to witness and marvel at. The judge even starts weeping it's so beautiful. "I'm here to make sweet, sweet love to this raptor and show the world that even in space, love and positivity and hope and openness conquer all. If you all want to shut down the space program because of this then so be it, I'll still be in my back yard trying to build rockets and getting pounded in the ass by my raptor."
Space Raptor Butt Ascension
Lance and his raptor lover fly to the raptor's planet to see if in the future the humans can move there since Earth is dying. On the way they discover a stowaway, the leader of a bad organization who just escaped from prison. When they arrive on the friendly dinosaur planet they are greeted warmly by the dinosaur president. Suddenly a commotion breaks out as the bad stowaway tries to wreak havoc on this new planet. Since the planet runs on love the only way for Lance and his raptor to save the day is to start having wild passionate sex in front of the president. "Orion approaches confidently with his prehistoric alpha male swagger, then climbs down on his knees directly behind me." The love they create (and splatter everywhere) saves the day and they have made new friends on a planet that can save humanity.
Ridiculously insane and over the top. So obviously you should read this and anything written by Chuck Tingle. Trust me, you won't regret it (much).